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Not a happy cat.

Currently I’ve just got back from being away: did you miss me?

During the merry month of May 2019: it’s been a busy fuck-arse time, and the bloody pissin’ fuckin month isn’t even over yet, (and yes: I’m cussing spitting and racking at the air in pure malevolent frustration),  .. cos’ that’s how really pissed off I am with it all.

Firstly, .. the apparently stable version of Word-Press 5.2 crashed my site, and at the hosting level at that, .. with this very unhelpful error showing up.

Warning: require(/var/sites/b/ failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /var/sites/b/ on line 20

Fatal error: require(): Failed opening required ‘/var/sites/b/’ (include_path=’.:/usr/local/php-7.1.21-flock/lib/php’) in /var/sites/b/ on line 20

OK I thought, I’ve got backups on my host, so I went back to before the release and activated one: as well as the database at the same time, .. (didn’t work!) – Shit!

Which then necessitated a support ticket being raised: requiring my hosting provider to have a look at it for me. They ended up replacing god knows what on my private WordPress root folder! – Cos’ I sure as shit don’t fucking well know, (but got my site back: they did), and I’ve got nothing but the utmost praise for the [ tsoHost ] staff, especially in how they went about it. Quick and efficient doesn’t even come close to it. I‘d have never got that from YourNameHere, .. (spit!)

Secondly, .. OK! – So I’m back online, but it’s not all plain sailing: because during my off-line moments of deep navel contemplation, this Muppet here realised that I didn’t have any real backups: other than what my hosting provider saves daily, .. that in the end: didn’t work.

  • First things first: I deactivated all those excess iffy Plug-ins that I thought could have helped contribute to my ungainly downfall.
    • Especially that stupid email one called “Email Subscribers& Newsletters”.
      • Oh’  brother, .. that one could literally update itself twice a day sometimes, and Oh’ boy could that lot ever spam you about their latest deals in making money from your contact list.
        • Not my cup of tea.
  • OK, so back to second things first.
    • I needed a backup Plug-in installed.

After much research, .. and a fucking lot of pissin’ shittin’ Umming! and Ahhing! on my part.. I finally went with [ UpdraftPlus ], being as it seems to have everything in it that I need, and not an extra bolt-on as some of the others charge in their premium offerings.

Right, .. so I installed and ran it, but only after a lot of faffing about with the Plug-in itself, because even they try to rip-you-off by setting the default backup to their own poxy fucking servers, .. (another bloody spit!)

    • But in the end all’s well, and now I have a proper backup of my site stored safely on my personal Google Drive.
      • All GOOD? – Not quite.

Do you remember that I disabled all the extra Plug-ins that I thought frivolous and considered as highly suspect in the 5.2 update? – Well, one was called BuddyPress; never really used the Bulletin Board thing, but one other thing it did do, was add several text fields to new user registrations.

  • Within fifteen minutes of me disabling it: I then had 77 Robot SPAM registrations come flying in.

Which means that the blasted spammers are back, (and in force), and in the process of angrily deleting them; my bloody server fell over, and fell over pissin’ bloody badly at that with the usual unhelpful “500 Errors.” Resulting in me being unable to even get to the Admin Panel, .. weirdly though: my web site loaded and worked fine, here’s what I was looking at.

Internal Server Error
The server encountered an internal error or misconfiguration and was unable to complete your request.

Please contact the server administrator, and inform them of the time the error occurred, and anything you might have done that may have caused the error.

More information about this error may be available in the server error log.

So I was once again forced to contact the customer services at tsoHost, my god but they are good, and within fifteen minutes they’d sorted it out.

Hooray! – I’m finally looking at my Admin panel again, but in the interim: I’ve now had to delete over 128 SPAM Registrations.

  • Resulting in the, .. (anyone can register being turned off), .. and it might be off for some considerable time at that.

Worryingly: I’ve also had to remove over 102 spam emails from various pages, and they weren’t there before my gracious fall.

    • The topics range from the usual Viagra crap, to the get rich quick Ponsie schemes, and also the wonderful exchange rate deals that we can provide: click this link for a one time deal, but even more worryingly in amongst them: was open adverts for child images, being shared and wanted, and we all know what type of filth that we’re discussing here.
      • So as a result of all that: comments are now closed on my pages as well.

Things to do, ..

  • Set up an email page, so that (proper) users can register.
    • Somehow capture my own email addresses for the “Dark Times Newsletter.”
      • And finally, .. find a (stable) FB Plug-in that allows users to comment on posts and pages.

Those bloody heady cats have it easy. I’m off for a stiff drink to ponder over the moaning of life.

Thanks for reading, Jessica: Praise be the ORI.


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Outside Intervention Registered.

Forced animal-(hybrid)-machine mode deployed, (open-me subroutine activated).
– Matrix code and biological permissions successfully merged in the prescribed scheduled time-frame, .. predictive actions running at 100%.

Attention STUPID Human!

A sign saying ‘Open Me!‘ – Isn’t a command.
Confidential Monetary Report Follows.
Conclusion Begins:
– The captured consumer has actually *bought* their own personal prison cell key,
(Then happily locked the door behind them).
– And did it when *you* signed up for *your* own beloved credit card,
(But are now paying off your blue dues in prison with a mountain of debt covering the door).

Resolution: the [ Consumption Bots ] have the human-monkey-race trapped.

– Give a google amount of monkeys some typewriters, ..
And one of the gibbering little freaks might well reproduce one of Shakespeare’s minor works in an eternity, (or two).
– Give a google amount of walking animals some credit cards, ..
And one of God’s gibbering human monkeys *might* well resist the urge to use it after a few seconds of shallow contemplation.

[ What’s written above is a pause in your life: don’t waste it, ( spend it wisely ) .. ]


Close this shit

Ain’t that so cute? – An innocent looking form on a web page; asking you to register to go on their exclusive mailing list: never seen that before? – { Huff! }

Anyhow: if you do sign up, then this is ( My Promise! )

(Just a cleverly constructed list of timely compiled acquisitions.)

Thanks for reading, Jessica: Praise be the ORI.

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