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Not a happy cat.


Currently I’ve just got back from being away: did you miss me?

During the merry month of May 2019, it’s been one hell of a busy fuck-arse time, and the bloody pissin’ freakin’ month isn’t even over yet, and yes: I’m cussing spitting and racking at the air in pure malevolent frustration,  .. cos’ that’s how really pissed off I am with it all.

Firstly, .. the apparently stable version of Word-Press 5.2 crashed my site, and at the hosting level at that; with this very unhelpful error showing up.

Warning: require(/var/sites/b/ failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /var/sites/b/ on line 20

Fatal error: require(): Failed opening required ‘/var/sites/b/’ (include_path=’.:/usr/local/php-7.1.21-flock/lib/php’) in /var/sites/b/ on line 20

OK I thought, I’ve got backups on my host, so I went back to before the release and activated one: as well as the database at the same time, .. (didn’t work!) – Shit!

Which then necessitated a support ticket being raised: requiring my hosting provider to have a look at it for me. They ended up replacing god knows what on my private WordPress root folder! – Cos’ I sure as shit don’t fucking well know, (but got my site back: they did), and I’ve got nothing but the utmost praise for the tsoHost staff, especially in how they went about it. Quick and efficient doesn’t even come close to it. I‘d have never got that from YourNameHere, .. (spit!)

Secondly, .. OK! – So I’m back online, but it’s not all plain sailing, because during my off-line moments of deep navel contemplation; this Muppet here cordially realised that I didn’t have any real backups, other than what my hosting provider saves daily, .. that in the end: sadly didn’t work.

First things first, .. I deactivated all those excess iffy Plug-ins that I thought could have helped contribute to my ungainly downfall.

** Especially that stupid get rich quick Plugin called “Email Subscribers& Newsletters”. Oh’ brother, but that one could literally update itself twice a day sometimes, and the lot who wrote it constantly spam you about their latest deals in making money from your contact list. 

** Not my cup of tea!

OK then so back to second things first: I needed a backup Plugin installed.

After much research, and after a flippin lot of piddling Umming! and Ahhrring! on my part: especially after going in, and then quickly back out of the darkened non support Plugin rooms, I finally went with something called UpdraftPlus, being as it seems to have everything in it that I need, and not as an extra bolt-on; as some of the other dark charges try to slap on you in their premium dark offerings.

Right, .. so I installed and ran it, but only after a lot of faffing about with the Plugin itself, because even they try to rip-you-off by setting the default backup to their own poxy fucking servers, (another bloody cat like spit!)

In the end: all’s well, and now I have a proper backup of my site, all stored safely on my personal Google Drive.

All GOOD? – Not quite!

Do you remember that I disabled all the extra Plugins that I thought frivolous, and considered as highly suspect in the 5.2 update? Well, one was called BuddyPress; never really used the Bulletin Board side of thing, but one other thing it did do, was add several text fields to new user registrations.

Within fifteen minutes of me disabling it, and finally being back on-line so to speak: I then had 77 Robot SPAM registrations come flying into my website.

Which means that the blasted spammers are back, (and in force), and in the process of angrily deleting them; my bloody server fell over, and fell over pissin’ bloody badly at that with the usual unhelpful “500 Errors.” Resulting in me being unable to even get to the Admin Panel, but weirdly though: my web site loaded and worked fine.

Here’s what I was looking at.

Internal Server Error
The server encountered an internal error or misconfiguration and was unable to complete your request.

Please contact the server administrator, and inform them of the time the error occurred, and anything you might have done that may have caused the error.

More information about this error may be available in the server error log.

So I was once again forced to contact the customer services at tsoHost, my god but they are good: within fifteen minutes they’d sorted it out.

Over loaded *something*, was what one of them told me, but god honest truth: I simply didn’t care by that point, and all I wanted was to just say ‘thank-you’ in a small thankful voice, and I was.

Hooray! – I’m finally looking at my Admin panel again, but in the interim, I’ve now had to delete over 128 SPAM registrations.

  • Resulting in the, (Anyone can register) being rudely turned off, and it might be off for some considerable time at that.

Worryingly: I’ve also had to remove over 102 spam emails from various pages, and they weren’t there before my gracious fall.

** The topics range from the usual Viagra crap, to the get rich quick Ponsie schemes, and also the wonderful exchange rate Bitcoin deals that we can provide: click this link for a one time offer, but even more worryingly though, and buried in amongst them, was open adverts for child images being shared and wanted, and we all know what type of absolute filth that we’re discussing here: if I ever get my hands on them freaks, ..

So, .. as a result of all that nasty filthy crap appearing on my website, comments are now closed on my pages as well.

Things to do, ..

  1. Set up a separate email page, so that (proper) users can register. 
  2. Somehow capture my own email addresses for the “Dark Times Newsletter.”
  3. Find a stable FB Plugin (or other), that will then allow users to comment on posts and pages.

Those bloody heady cats fighting above have it easy. I’m off for a stiff drink to ponder over the moaning of life.


Thanks for reading, Jessica: Praise be the ORI.


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